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It’s Bloomsday today, the 100th anniversary of the original. According to some book or other, some guy walked around Dublin on the 16th of June 1904, fried some kidneys, went to a funeral, sold some ads, got kicked out of a pub, perved at a girl on the beach, and met a student (a son of a friend), had coffee, went to a brothel, and kissed the “plump mellow yellow smellow melons” of his wife’s rump when he got home (which she didn’t appreciate). Unable as I am to write an epic modernist novel on the events of today, I’ll write a briefer version of Josquin’s Day, in the style of Ulysses for Dummies. June 16, 2004 8:45am Josquin gets up for work, having left the minimum allowable time (no coffee, no shave) to catch the train. 9:15am With a supreme effort, Josquin catches the train, still being in his back yard when he hears it coming. 9:28am He quickly gets a coffee at Flinders Street Station, avoiding the people trying to sell stuff to him. 9:35am He catches his second train, noticing that a girl who was pretty enough for him to remark on the first train was also on the second train. He reads the interesting parts of yesterday’s newspaper, which he bought for some reason yesterday. 9:55am For the first time in his memory, the train arrives on time. He walks to work in a very light drizzle. 10:05am Arriving at work he is unable to check his email as the boss is asking him questions, and the client arrives just as the boss leaves. 11:05am He checks his email to see if band rehearsal is still happening that night. Otherwise he has other plans... 2:15pm He has lunch and works out his plans for the evening. 4:55pm He finishes another project just before 5. 5:24pm He catches the train back into town and reads MX, the free newspaper, nearly solving the anagram puzzle. 5:57pm Having just missed the previous train, he boards the next one. It’s the first time he’s seen one of the new trains on his line. 6:12pm The train finally departs, Connex having found a “qualified driver”. 6:28pm He makes pasta for dinner. He uses the last of the spirals, and ran out of mushrooms yesterday. 7:00pm A rare opportunity to watch Big Brother is interrupted twice, by a charity wanting donations and a “one minute survey”. 7:25pm He catches another train to the city. 7:40pm After walking up Flinders Lane, he arrives (very quietly) at the Bloomsday centenary James Joyce reading and orders a beer. 9:00pm During the break he notices that there are not as many freaks as one would expect at a Joyce reading, except the eccentric woman who steals his seat, and the guy wearing a sports jacket, red tie and jeans. 9:10pm A reading (by actress Helen Hopkins) of Gertie’s half of the Nausicaa chapter is so beautiful and well performed that tears well in his eyes as if he were a metrosexual. 9:58pm He is moved enough to congratulate Ms Hopkins on her performance. 10:11pm He catches the train home again, having a good idea for a diary entry. 10:35pm He gets to work on a diary entry, reminding himself to hang up the laundry. All afternoon and evening(!) He has but one tune in his head, luckily it’s a good one, sung by Sting and a client at work. The lyrics only really hint at the beauty of the song:
On and on the rain will fall
Here’s an interesting entry I’ve been reading by . This month
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